10th Anniversary - Part II

Boy, talk about painting yourself into a corner. Can I really explain why I stayed?? After I posted the last entry the guilt started in again because my decision could also be interpreted as a vote against coming back. For those of you who remembered the period in 2002/2003 when I was often incommunicado, you may recall it wasn't an easy time for me. Still isn't, except for the fact that you guys stuck with me through all these years and for that I am beyond GRATEFUL!!!

Did I plan my life to unfold this way?? Definitely not. I wish I had the gumption to set some clear objectives and just go after them, instead of haphazardly making the best of chance outcomes...Still, some random reasons for staying:

• Paris - you see what I mean?? In 1996 when Niki and I travelled through Europe I told her I wanted to live in Paris. Paris is 4 hours by train from Cologne and at the time when I accepted the offer I thought to myself: that's close enough, because it would be too impossible to actually make my way to Paris and find a decent paying job. Now, why didn't I just grow a backbone and go?? Of course being so close means I've been to Paris countless times in the past decade, but I'll put it down right here and say I'll manage to live in Paris before I kick the bucket, ok? (Thankfully Jochen doesn't read this blog because I haven't cleared it with him)
• Travel in general - there's loads to discover in the US, but Europe is just so compactly different in itself, and offers good proximity to Africa and the Middle East
• Jochen - we're really an odd couple, and maybe that's why it works so well. At first Pig's birth really stressed our relationship; surprisingly Monchi's addition really mellowed us out...you don't quite believe me?? Come visit and check us out on our best behavior (while it lasts, that is)
• Gelato - 'nuff said, or 'nuff can't be said
• Skiing - you don't have to be loaded to go skiing here and the lodges are beautifully quaint. Then again the tradeoff is wet snow instead of powder
• Cologne - not much to look at but just a great little town with such an intimate feel. I do love Karneval, as repetitive as the nuttiness (and the songs) may be
• A simpler life - I was really taken with the underdeveloped consumerism I found in 1999: no shop hours on Sundays, general use of public transportation, less fascination with "toys" and a fanatical approach to recycling. Now, shouldn't I have lived more radically in the US and built this lifestyle for myself instead of decamping to another country?? In any case I think the gap between the two societies have closed in the past decade - though not always in the ecologically responsible direction

In short, I'm glad I stayed and built a life for myself here - made infinitely richer with Jochen, Pig and Monchichi. Given it's also a place where I keep losing good friends as people move away, I'm resigned to the fact that in our global world today physical proximity is a luxury, but I'm not willing to let its absence be a deal breaker in terms of keeping in touch or staying close. So, keep reading, keep writing me, calling and letting me know what's going on with you. I promise the same and I truly hope we continue to be a relevant part of each other's lives ahead.